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S'io credissi che mia riposta fosse A persona che mai tornasses al mondo, Questa fiamma staria senza piu scosse. Ma perciocche giammai di questo fondo No torno vivo alcun, s'i'odo il vero, Senza tema d'infamia ti rispondo. --------------------------------- Comments? Questions?-->buddybblog@yahoo.com
Sunday, March 28, 2004
It feels so real and so solid. Is it something I can trust? Count on? Is this an appropriate source of it?
Here I am again, looking for you online. Desperate? Somewhat. Compulsive? Not yet. Maybe soon.
Dammit, I want to exchange energy with you. I can easily live without having sex with you, but there is something you can give me that....can I live happily without it? Like ballast; feeling your love, feeling you hold me gives me balance. I can feel something righting itself when I'm close to you like that.
Is it really you? Am I projecting onto you? I don't know. I can't tell. I'm confused. Is it safe for me to lean on you? I want so much to.
But even if you didn't give me that, I still want to BE WITH you somehow. I was re-reading our treehouse and I thought "how nice it would be to have a space like that." We could start a tribe. I'm not sure what the point would be exactly, but....!
Maybe we can keep it? It would make more sense on tribe.
------------------
Back to exchanging energy....
Dammit, I want to exchange energy with you. I can easily live without having sex with you, but there is something you can give me that....can I live happily without it? Like ballast; feeling your love, feeling you hold me gives me balance. I can feel something righting itself when I'm close to you like that.
Is it really you? Am I projecting onto you? I don't know. I can't tell. I'm confused. Is it safe for me to lean on you? I want so much to.
But even if you didn't give me that, I still want to BE WITH you somehow. I was re-reading our treehouse and I thought "how nice it would be to have a space like that." We could start a tribe. I'm not sure what the point would be exactly, but....!
Maybe we can keep it? It would make more sense on tribe.
------------------
Back to exchanging energy....
I liked kissing you. It wasn’t sexy; it didn’t turn me on (though that might have been a matter of calibration. Most of the cuddling I didn’t interpret as sexy either, but after you left it was pretty clear that--on a physiological level at least—I *was* turned on. But I don’t think that’s a bad thing; the vibe wasn’t erotic and I didn’t feel the need to make it so). It just seemed like the next logical step; instead of kissing “inanimate” parts of each other, to kiss collaboratively: kissing as a form of communication, or just an extension of our other ways of showing affection i.e. hugging, cuddling.
